Those are words that I once longed to hear. Of course, followed by my name. Otherwise, I can hear it multiple times once a year. Like last night. If you don’t believe me, check out my Twitter feed. I’ve never tweeted that much in my life.
Well, I can’t know what the future holds for me, only God knows that, so I won’t say that I will never hear those words. As James Bond said long before Justin Bieber, “Never say never”. But my current reality is clearly far from the red carpet, unless you count the rug in front of my kitchen sink, which I don’t.
In some industries, if you are not tremendously successful, it is not immediately obvious to the outside world. You wear business clothes. You go to an office. You get a steady paycheck. Your office may be a cubicle rather than a corner, but you can walk in the door side by side and most people wouldn’t know the difference.
This is not true in my field. If you’ve “made it”, it is pretty obvious. If I were to walk with one of my successful compatriots, not only would anyone not living under a rock know who’s who, I likely wouldn’t even be allowed in the door.
This used to bother me a lot. I used to walk around feeling “less than”, especially during awards season. But that is changing. And my children are helping me in that effort. Don’t get me wrong, I am still walking this walk, old tan apartment carpet and all, everyday. And some days, I am attacked by the worst case of “why not me-s” possible. But they pass faster and come fewer times; like a wound that has begun to heal can be felt less often and hurts less when it does. The space that belonged to that need and goal has shrunk as my life has become more filled.
Now, if you have an amazing project that you know for which I would be perfect… well, I didn’t take the moniker Star Traci for nothing. But in the meantime, I have these words from my daughter.
“You’re famous to me, Mommy. You’re famous to me”.
Now I’m convinced I want – no, need – a proper red carpet in my house.Complete with velvet rope. And paparazzi. Yes honey, you have that much love comin’ at you, you know you’re doing something right with your life. Just think how many people who were on that red carpet last night don’t have such a close, affectionate bond with their kids. Would you trade places with them? Nuh the heck uh I’m thinking!
No gold statue matters more than my golden girl and boy. You are so right. And with as many pics and videos my daughter takes on my phone, they’re like nice paparazzi!
And yes, we all need a red carpet in our homes!!!
Traci
I so know this feeling. But just because we may never walk that red carpet, it doesn’t make us any less important in this world. And the fact that you have that wonderful recognition from your daughter means more than any of the fancy dresses and spray tans in Hollywood. XOXO
I totally second what Charlotte said. 100%
Daughters are great that way. I am so blessed by my family and wonderful bloggy friends like you!
xoxo
Traci
Oh my gosh…. I just love your daughter! Wish I could high five her right now!
That’s it, I’m forging you a golden statue!!!!
Thanks, Dawnee! We all need a red carpet and a gold statue. And my daughter would be so happy to high five you!
Traci
I admit that tweeting last night was a total blast! I did it all through the red carpet and the beginning of the show but then I just sat back and watched.
And you ARE a star!
That’s the most that I have tweeted but I had a great time. I should tweet more often.
And you are a star to me, lady!!!
Traci
Hi Traci,
Nice to see you comment on my blog. I am unable to visit my dear friend’s blogs because of frequent and long power cuts here. I am also down with attack viral fever. But your comment made me filled my mind with some energy . see you soon.
So glad to see you, my friend. I hope you are well and I hope the lights stay on for you.
Love to you,
Traci
aww, I wish I would’ve been following you last night. I had tons of fun on twitter and facebook. One of my husband’s best friends invited people to ongoing commentary about the Oscars on her status. We got up to 390 comments. The last being my link to Angelina Jolie’s right leg’s new twitter and J-Lo’s nipple’s new twitter account. People are funny and strange, all at the same time.
Now on the subject of you winning an Oscar, I agree Never Say Never. You still have 70 or so years. Look at Christopher Plummer. You never know. I think your thoughts on the subject are well put. To everything there is a season. I try to remember that when I start to think my current reality is my lot in life. I used to think having a husband that didn’t love me was my lot in life and now I see that it’s not. My husband makes me feel loved everyday where my ex did not. Your children will grow and who knows, maybe one of them will make films and just might give you that role of a lifetime.
You are so right. I am glad that you had a vision of your life beyond an unhappy marriage and have found someone who treats you with the love and respect you so deserve. We’re now following each other on Twitter so we can always be in touch. We Tracis with “I”s are a rare breed. We have to stick together!
And here’s to the role of a lifetime coming. ‘Til then, I will focus on the role of my lifetime now — being a mom to two amazing kids!
Traci
your tweets about the Oscars were GREAT last night.
xoxoxo
And – you’re famous to ME too.
Thanks, my friend. We can each remember each other “when”. You’re going to write the great American novel. I’ll adapt to a screenplay and star in the film — haha!
Love you and your Pajama Jeans!
Traci
It’s a crazy schizophrenic world we live in when the real heroes of the world are over looked and our children have to remind us just how very important and great we are.
I’m a home school mother of 4 ~ I never watch the Oscars. I have know idea who is who. I don’t even go to the movies. . . BUT!!! do drool clothes!!! Sigh**** Oh! I’m so getting a red carpet!!!!
Woman! You home-school four children!!!! You deserve a medal, much less a statuette. I think I am going to start a company that makes red carpets for moms.
You are so right that the world is a little upside-down. That’s one of the reasons that I love blogging. I get reminders daily from other moms about what is important.
I also drool clothes.
Traci
That last line is the best.
I know, right? One of the best moments in my life! Not kidding.
xoxo
Traci
Well said your daughter …….. and always remember as your header says you are indeed a star shining brightly for all to see.
Thanks!!! You always make me smile. Friends like you make me feel like a star, that’s for sure!
Traci
Though I have never wanted to be truly ‘famous’ in that sense, I can totally understand the feeling!! I still don’t have my degree, nothing stating that I am more than an uneducated stay home mom… but your daughter choked me up. You are famous to her, and she will remember you long after the lights go cold. I have to be content being the one person my kids run to for every little thing
So true. Why I can’t remember that 24/7, I’m not sure but each day I do a little better. Both my kids are awesome cheerleaders and I am mightily blessed.
Traci
When we have an ability which drives us mentally, watching others do it with acclaim, it can take away our self validation. I love to write, in fact have managed to do it for pay (one type of validation), yet when I see or read what others do my brain picks away at my abilities and I really have to make an effort to role my sleeves up and start again. This is in no way a comparison of what you must feel, but a recognition that we all have that type of connection. The red carpet does not define you. You do. Your kids have it right. But if the red carpet is in your future, that means you must ‘pat your brain on the head’ , tell it to behave then roll your sleeves up and do it again.
Thank you. My kids are terrific reminders of what matters to me and in life. I need to focus on that and not what others have. There is a great saying “we compare our behind-the-scenes to others’ close-ups”. I am guilty of that and hope to do better.
Traci