Author Archives: Traci

About Traci

Wife and mom of two; longtime out of work actress; perpetual student. Lover of movies, books, and great thoughts.

Sing a Song

Back in the early days of my first blog, 38 and Growing, I wrote about how much the Karen Carpenter song, “Sing a Song” meant to me. Well, Sunday, at the Sesame Street Live event,   they ended the show with this sweet song. As I was singing along, this is the beauty that I saw.

Looking at her, I was struck. “Don’t worry that it’s not good enough for anyone else to hear/Just sing. Sing a song…” One of my heroes as a teenager was Whitney Houston. I wanted to be a singer and she had the greatest voice that I had ever heard. At her funeral, Kevin Costner spoke eloquently of the insecurities that plagued her. It was astounding to me that someone who was so beautiful and so blessed with talent could feel that she wasn’t enough. How does that happen?

I have struggled with insecurities myself and as I looked at my daughter who loves to sing so much, I wanted to protect from all these fears. I want her to know that she is good enough. I am realizing that I can tell her that she’s wonderful day and night but to teach her that she is enough, I have to live it.

She looks up to me. She looks like me. She sings like me. If I want her to value those things in herself, I must value those things in myself. So, I pulled her into my lap and sang those lyrics into her ear as much to myself as to her. I hope she heard me. I hope I heard me.

I have spent a lot of years not singing my “song” and it is time that I start singing again. If I haven’t done it before for me than I have to start doing it for her. So, in the words of the song… I need to “sing, sing a song”.

Sing, sing a song
Sing out loud, sing out strong
Sing of good things not bad
Sing of happy not sad

Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last your whole life long
Don’t worry that it’s not good enough
For anyone else to hear
Just sing, sing a song

La la la la la
La la la la la la…

Sing, sing a song
Let the world sing along
Sing of love there could be
Sing for you and for me

Sing, sing a song
Make it simple to last your whole life long
Don’t worry that it’s not good enough
For anyone else to hear
Just sing, sing a song
Just sing, sing a song
Just sing, sing a song

La la la la la
La la la la la la…

Do you have a song you are not singing?

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Posted in Dreams, Gratitude | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

Sundays in My City #21 — Gone Fishin’

My Dad teaching my son. (BTW, this is my Dad’s debut appearance in my blog.)

Choosing to dance with the ducks rather than fish.

Ducks? What ducks?

Oh, those ducks!

But the best moment of all…

Share your Sunday in your city over at Unknown Mami’s place.

Happy Sunday, everyone!

Unknown Mami

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Posted in Sundays in My City | Tagged , , | 10 Comments

Shining the Star-Light #7 — Sesame Street LIVE!

You know that I love, Love, LOVE companies that take care of military families. Today I am going to celebrate Sesame Street Live at the Frank Erwin Center.

When my son was three, we took him to see Sesame Street Live and he had such a wonderful time. I didn’t even realize just how great an experience it was for him until an advertisement for the Austin showing came on television. He looked at me with all the earnestness that an eight year old can muster and said, “Mommy, we should take Baby to that. She’s never gotten to go like me”. (He has called her “Baby” since her birth. Sometimes, it annoys her and she will scream, “I am not a baby” but most days she likes it.)

Well, with a looming Chuck E. Cheese party and a Barbie Dream House for a gift, we were pretty much at the budget max so I pulled the old, “we’ll see”, imagining that we would not be doing that this month. But life offers mini-miracles. Yesterday, I received one of those little miracles. We received an email offering a military discount to that very show. A $5 ticket discount!!!

And we took advantage of that offer. My daughter is going to see Elmo and she has already declared that “this is the best birthday ever!” So thank you Frank Erwin Center and Sesame Street LIVE!, you’ve helped make my daughter sooooo happy! And that makes this Military Mom even happier!

For those of you in the Austin Area, here is the information. Please know that although there are other box office outlets that sell tickets to the show, in order to take advantage of the $5 discount, you do need to go to the Frank Erwin Center. I know this from experience!

Tickets for the Frank Erwin Center shows are also on sale now. Tickets are
$13, $17 and $23. A limited number of $30 Gold Circle seats and $60 Sunny
Seats* are also available.

Shows are Friday, Feb. 17 at 1000 and 1900 hours; Saturday, Feb. 18 at 1030.,
1430 and 1730 hours; Sunday, Feb. 19 at 1300 and 1630 hours.

Special $60 Sunny Seat packages are available at all shows. Sunny Seats
feature front row seats and a pre-show Meet & Greet with two Sesame Street
Live friends.

Opening Night – all seats (excluding Gold Circle and Sunny Seats) are $13.

The following special offers are available for all performances except
Opening Night and on all ticket prices except Gold Circle and Sunny Seats:
Military personnel can save $5 with valid Military ID at the Frank Erwin
Center box office and Ft. Hood ITR. There is an eight (8) ticket limit.
College and university students, faculty and staff save $3 with valid ID at
the Frank Erwin Center box office. Groups of 10 or more SAVE $3. Groups
should call the Group Sales Department at  (512) 232-4343      .
Special offers cannot be combined. Offers are subject to availability.

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Posted in Star-light | Tagged | 5 Comments

Wordless Wednesday #19 — The Perfect Recipe for a Happy Valentine’s Day

Here’s hoping your Valentine’s Day was as sweet as this…

That’s a Valentine’s Day Robot, by the way. So cute!!! And finally, I hate pictures of myself but my Sonny-Bunny was so cute, I went ahead and included this one.

Join the Wordless fun over at 5 Minutes for Mom!

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Posted in Wordless Wednesday | Tagged , , , | 16 Comments

Laughter Might Be the Best Medicine

I have written a lot about my illness lately so I thought I would have a little fun with it. In honor of my favorite childhood movie, “Grease”.

“You’re the Drug That I Want”…

Tell me about it doc!

I got pills.
They’re multiplyin’.
And I’m losin’ control.
‘Cause the power
they’re supplyin’,
it’s electrifyin’!

You better shape up,
’cause I need a lot
and my heart depends on you.
I better shape up;
I gotta understand
to my meds I must be true.

Nothin’ left, nothin’ left for me to do.

Not the cure that I want.
(You’re not the one I want), bye, bye, money.
It’s health that I want.
(Health, not drugs is what I want), o, o, oo, honey.
A cure’s what I want
(That’s all that I want), o ,o, ooooo
It’s what I need.
Oh, yes indeed.

Yes, I’m filled
with affliction
I’m too tired to play
I’ll meditate, pray for direction.
Feel my way.

I better shape up,
’cause they need a mom
And I need a drug
who can keep me vertical.
I better shape up
if I’m gonna prove
I better prove
that my faith is justified.

Am I sure?
Yes, I’m sure down deep inside.

You’re the one that I want.
(you are the one I want want), o, o, oo, honey.
The one that I want.
(you are the one i want want), o, o, oo, honey.
The one that I want
(you are the one I want),o, o, oo
The one I need.
Oh, yes indeed.

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Posted in Gratitude, Illness | Tagged , | 11 Comments

If I Didn’t Have Bad Luck…

You’ve probably heard the saying, “If I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.” It has certainly felt that way over the last two weeks. It started with a flash flood that came into my apartment. I then broke my 24 year streak of not causing any car accidents. Then, I got sick (hence my last post) and then, drum roll please… I scratched my cornea. This is the first day in four that I can read or type on a computer. I am a writer, blogger, and student with a Facebook habit. Not being able to read or type on the computer was torture! Now I could get lost in the “poor me”s and truthfully, I had a few of those moments but I will spare you that. Instead, in the spirit of a silver lining, and trying to see myself as the One-Eyed Man I wrote about, instead of the one-eyed crazy woman I felt like , I am counting my blessings. My house got flooded but very few things were damaged. It made me clean out a closet and stat purging, something I have talked about doing for a long time.

The car accident involved me and a parked car. So there is no question who was at a fault — the parked car! Okay… me. I backed into a parked car going about one MPH. In the realm of car accidents, this is nothing.  Even in the realm of parking lot accidents, it was not much. Now it was a brand new Lexus and the words “brand new Lexus” are never words that I like to associate with car accident, but I have insurance and the lovely Geico man said to me, three much nicer words, “there’s no deductible”. Hallelujah!!! More importantly, no one was hurt. It was an excellent reminder to stay focused; no matter how many places I have to go in one day, no matter how loudly my daughter is singing, and no matter how tired I am. That Lexus could have been a child so boy, do I have reasons to be thankful.

Finally, my cornea! In what my husband dubbed a “Super Blonde” moment, I pulled a file folder out of a drawer, it caught for a half second and then released with a force. The corner of the folder went straight into the center of my pupil. I will spare you the words that I used but the NBC and the NFL would be arguing over who violated the FCC regulations if I were to include them in a Super Bowl Half-Time show. But I digress… I did scratch my cornea. And it hurt! (See above Super Bowl sized analogy for expletives). I could not see for two days and read for three more. But my eye did heal and I have a much better appreciation for my sight. I love these hazel eyes!

So looking at the other side of the coin, I have really good luck!

Do you feel lucky today?

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Posted in Gratitude, Illness | Tagged , , | 17 Comments

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

Those of you have dealt with chronic illness know that there is a series of questions that you start to dread. “What’s wrong?” “Are you feeling okay?” “You don’t look so good, are you getting sick?” (People often back up with that last one.) All of these are well-intended but when asked on an almost daily basis, it can be crazy-making.

Because I am tired of saying, “nothing is wrong, I’m just tired”.  So tired! I feel like a broken record. But it’s more than that. As much as I know that it’s not, it feels like a cop-out. I get angry with myself and my body which seems hell-bent on messing with my plans and drive.

I know that it could be worse. Much worse. I know of moms out there who are facing real life and death challenges. And I am immensely thankful that I am not. But it is frustrating and today, I am pretty frustrated. In fairness, it is made worse as I am actually sick on top of this daily mess.

But on a lighter note, my son who is also home sick today, said to me last night, “Mommy, I am 94% downloaded sick”. It took everything I had not to laugh as he was so sincere. But it is moments like that which keep me going.

So, although today, I am 98% downloaded sick, I guess I am 100% fortunate.

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Posted in Illness, Letting Go | Tagged , | 15 Comments

I Remember…

I remember…

Phones that actually rang. They were connected to a wall and if you were lucky they had very long cords that allowed you to walk around the corner and sit on the floor rather than standing in the kitchen next to your mom. I remember it was a big deal when we got a cordless phone. It had a giant, extend-able silver antenna but it allowed freedom while talking on the phone. I could even walk to the mailbox and still have reception! That was technology, baby!

Broadcast television that required an antenna. The TV had three knobs — On/Off, one for VHF channels (usually stronger reception) and one for the UHF channels. Within those knobs were dials that helped “adjust” the picture. There were three major networks — ABC, CBS, and NBC plus PBS. There were local stations, as well. They specialized in news or “I Love Lucy” reruns. 

When we finally got cable, it consisted of a single premium channel — either HBO (known then as Home Box Office), Showtime or The Movie Channel. We still watched the local stations via the antenna. It was two more years before we got a “cable box” that gave us a whopping 32 stations. One of those was WGN from Chicago. Why we needed a local station from anothe city, I’m not sure but it introduced me to the Cubs and Bozo the Clown.

Life before recordable TV. If you missed it, it was gone until rerun season.

Life before computers — I received a typewriter for high school graduation! My family got our first computer when I was 19 and a sophomore in college. I got my first email address (AOL, of course!) when I was 26 and in grad school.

Life when we walked without looking down at an iPhone. The ultimate technology combo — cell phone and computer. I got my first cell phone at 27 and there were vast patches of the country that did not have coverage. I had “minutes” and no texting. My children are not only aware of my phone — they take photos and videos, play games, and call their dad on my phone!

And of course, I remember life before blogging. But it wasn’t as good. I remember being a lonely, frustrated SAHM in a new city. I remember thinking that I was the only one. And I remember when I learned I wasn’t. I remember getting the first comment from someone to whom I was not related (Nezzy, I am looking at you!) and learning that a long-lost IRL friend (Unknown Mami) was a fabulous blogger herself who helped me learn the ropes. I remember when each an everyone of you found time in your busy lives to stop by.

I will always remember. And I will be always be grateful.

What do you remember?

 

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Posted in Blogging, Getting Older, Gratitude, Memories | Tagged , | 13 Comments

Wordless Wednesday #18 — Great Minds Think Alike

I just loved this picture of my daughter, my little lioness.

If you have a moment to share, got to 5Minutes for Mom and join the Wordless Wednesday fun.

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Posted in Wordless Wednesday | Tagged , | 14 Comments

S@*t Little Girls Say

There is a series put on by two guys called “S@*t Girls Say” which is hilarious as are the many spin-offs that I have seen (including that of my friend, Unknown Mami). But I don’t think anything is crazy as the things my kids say. I’ve shared before but I’ll have trouble topping this edition.

My soon-to- be five year old daughter has become boy crazy. She has discovered Justin Bieber which definitely falls under the WTF category! But it gets worse, as you will see…

Bieber Fever — My Little Diva was introduced to Justin in the intro to the film “Arthur’s Christmas”. She leaned over and said he was handsome. I should have known that the rabbit hole had begun but I didn’t.  I just thought it was cute. She then found “Never Say Never” on Netflix. (Lord, help me!) The other night she ran into the living room. She had been wound up and to help her calm down before lights out, we had let her watch Netflix in bed. Usually that involves a Veggie Tale but it seems that she traveled over to Bieber-land. This conversation followed:

Little Diva: Mommy. I was trying to go to sleep but every time a song came on, I just wanted to get up and dance. I guess I can’t go to sleep to Bieber.

 

The next morning, she told me that she had a dream wherein she had a half Princess and half Bieber room. (Okay, I know you are all throwing up a little in your mouths — I do apologize!). She then went on to say that she really wanted a mostly Justin Bieber room. (I’m telling you now that is NOT happening!)

 

Lest you think that Bieber fever is the worst with which this momma has to deal, she has noticed real boys, as well. All I can say, is “Pray for me, people. Pray. For. Me. ”

Two days after Christmas, my daughter rushed into our room. (Yes, she does a lot of that. Everything is very dramatic, hence the name Little Diva.) And as you read this, know that I am thinking, “where is my camera when I need it?”

Little Diva: Mommy, I have found true love.

Me: (stifling giggles) You have?

LD: No, seriously. “T” and I have true love. We’re going to get married.

Me: (in pain trying not to burst out with laughter) You are? Well, at least “T” is a nice boy.

LD: Yes, he loves my singing. He says I have a beautiful voice.

My only consolation in the above conversation is that at least she picked him because he thought she was talented, not because he thought she was pretty. Pretty cold consolation but consolation, none-the-less.

 

She hadn’t brought boys in a few weeks and I was hoping that she had moved on. Two nights, however, she started a conversation this way:

Little Diva: “B” thinks he is going to marry me.

Me: He does?

LD: Yes, every day. But I’m not going to marry him. He’s my boyfriend but I’m not his girlfriend.

(Inappropriate laughter from husband and me)

Me: Then, whose girlfriend are you?

LD: Nobody’s.

Me: (Sigh of relief) Good. (Remembering previous conversation) But what about “T”?

LD: Oh yeah, he’s my boyfriend.

Me: Oh…

LD: Can we stop talking about this boyfriend/girlfriend thing?

Me: Yes, yes, we can.

 

 

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Posted in Mommyhood, Power of Words | Tagged , , | 16 Comments