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I Remember…
I remember…
Phones that actually rang. They were connected to a wall and if you were lucky they had very long cords that allowed you to walk around the corner and sit on the floor rather than standing in the kitchen next to your mom. I remember it was a big deal when we got a cordless phone. It had a giant, extend-able silver antenna but it allowed freedom while talking on the phone. I could even walk to the mailbox and still have reception! That was technology, baby!
Broadcast television that required an antenna. The TV had three knobs — On/Off, one for VHF channels (usually stronger reception) and one for the UHF channels. Within those knobs were dials that helped “adjust” the picture. There were three major networks — ABC, CBS, and NBC plus PBS. There were local stations, as well. They specialized in news or “I Love Lucy” reruns.
When we finally got cable, it consisted of a single premium channel — either HBO (known then as Home Box Office), Showtime or The Movie Channel. We still watched the local stations via the antenna. It was two more years before we got a “cable box” that gave us a whopping 32 stations. One of those was WGN from Chicago. Why we needed a local station from anothe city, I’m not sure but it introduced me to the Cubs and Bozo the Clown.
Life before recordable TV. If you missed it, it was gone until rerun season.
Life before computers — I received a typewriter for high school graduation! My family got our first computer when I was 19 and a sophomore in college. I got my first email address (AOL, of course!) when I was 26 and in grad school.
Life when we walked without looking down at an iPhone. The ultimate technology combo — cell phone and computer. I got my first cell phone at 27 and there were vast patches of the country that did not have coverage. I had “minutes” and no texting. My children are not only aware of my phone — they take photos and videos, play games, and call their dad on my phone!
And of course, I remember life before blogging. But it wasn’t as good. I remember being a lonely, frustrated SAHM in a new city. I remember thinking that I was the only one. And I remember when I learned I wasn’t. I remember getting the first comment from someone to whom I was not related (Nezzy, I am looking at you!) and learning that a long-lost IRL friend (Unknown Mami) was a fabulous blogger herself who helped me learn the ropes. I remember when each an everyone of you found time in your busy lives to stop by.
I will always remember. And I will be always be grateful.
What do you remember?
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Sundays in My City #20 — Wildflowers and Wisdom
Continuing in the the “I’ve Got to Be Me” theme, I attended MomCom Austin yesterday. It was an amazing day filled with speakers that made me feel like I could do almost anything. I met a fabulous community of Austin women who blog, run their own businesses, or both. And if that wasn’t enough. look at the beauty that surrounded us. I didn’t have to look far for inspiration.
Find the beauty in your city and share it with my friend, Unknown Mami. Happy week. everyone! I hope you find something or someone that makes you glad you’ve got to be you!
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Why I Bother
People ask me sometimes why I blog. And at times, I ask myself. Especially lately when everything is so hard and this only my third entry in the new year.
But truly I have a better answer as of late than even before. The response to my posts about my illness and my giving up on resolutions reminded me why. I don’t blog so much to write, though I do love writing, I could do that anywhere anytime; keep a journal like people have done since the beginning of the written word.
No, I bother to write in this semi-public forum because I want to connect. I want to be heard. And boy, did I feel heard. So a most heartfelt thanks from me to you.
My laptop should be back in action next week and I am slowly getting the hang of WordPress on my iPhone so hopefully my entries will be a little more regular, but in the mean, please accept my most sincere appreciation. Bloggy hugs for everyone…
You get a hug! And you get a hug! And you get a hug!
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Confessions of a Star
Catchy title, huh? Sounds like a Jackie Collins novel or something worthy of a Rubert Murdoch style tabloid. Well, if that is what you are hoping for you may find this a little lot disappointing. But it is time that I tell you the truth. I am a fraud.
Got you all excited again, didn’t I? No. This won’t be an expose on how I am really a man who has joined the glamorous and exciting world of blogging by passing as a frazzled housewife. Because how old is that story??? No, I am indeed a frazzled housewife.
But I am also ill. I haven’t talked much about it here because it’s not my personality. I am not a wallower (is that a word? spell check says no). I try to be positive and funny in my life and most especially here. And so when things are tough, I hide from my blog and even at times, my blog friends. But no more. I am here to tell you the truth. The whole truth and nothing little but the truth.
I have… something. That cleared it up for everyone, didn’t it?
I have a neurological disorder with an undiagnosed source.
That really didn’t make it any clearer, did it? If you still feel confused, join the club. On my 37th birthday, I fainted at my birthday dinner and embarked on a journey that seemingly has no end.
Basically, my nervous system stays in a fight or flight mode. It causes me to have crazy low blood pressure, be exhausted all the time, and have dizzy spells. But there is another element. I am losing feeling in my feet. We don’t know why but I have nerve damage that is worsening. The worst symptom, however, is that my nervous system can misread input causing soft touches from my children to feel almost scream worthy.
You know the phrase, “mind over matter”? Well, my mind is getting its behind kicked by whatever is the matter. It frustrates me and makes my dreams seem so much harder.
Truth is that I think I haven’t spoken of it, because I have been afraid. I have been afraid to acknowledge its impact on my life. I have been afraid that it will give it a power in my life that I’m not ready to cede. I hide how rough it is from friends. I think most of my family would be surprised to know just how much it bothers me. I finally acknowledged to my husband how much I worry.
Whatever this is, it’s not going away. It is likely to get worse over time. This is my reality and I need to stop running from it and learn to accept it.
So I am going to write about it, sometimes. Maybe I’m not alone. Do you have a secret burden that is standing between you and your vision of your life?
The truth is out. I’m not going to let this beat me and I’m not going to hide from it any more. It is part of who I am for better or worse. And that my friends is my star confession.
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Posted in Blogging, Dreams, Illness, Letting Go, New Year, Perfectionism
Tagged Grateful Heart, Illness, My Life, New Year
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Happy Days Are Here Again
So with the anniversaries of September 11th and my brother’s death. I have been feeling pretty reflective. And while I am still working on the next I Will Never Forget Series, I am feeling a little lighter and a little brighter.
To start, my son’s eighth birthday is in less than a week and his excitement on the coming day is quite catching. Boy, do I love this kid. But I guess you knew that, right?
What you don’t know is that my amazing friends over at Dr. Smith’s are sending me to sunny Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Woo Hoo! I will be at the Macaroni Kid publishing event and I can’t wait. If I have any Macaroni friends out there, let me know!
I’ll be there tomorrow through Friday. Just three days but three days in Fort Lauderdale! With great people and a great company.This blog has brought me so much and I am feel truly blessed.
See you on the other side!
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From First Gear to Overdrive in Seven Days…
Whoosh. Was that a week? For a me, it was a blur. The world kept spinning and so did I.
I was sick and as many of you read, I was still trying to be Mommy. Which was all that this little woman could do. So I wasn’t online. I was not here. I was not there. I was not in a tree. I did not play with a bee. I missed making a post. Something I like most. I was not well, bloggy friends. I hope I can make amends.
My apologies to Dr. Seuss, teachers, librarians, and all others who love of the master of rhyme. I am quite sure he has just rolled over so many times in his grave that it would register on the Richter scale. But I hope you get the idea.
I was so sick, I completely forgot that Friday was Wordweek day with JuneBug over at her Musing’s. Sorry, Junebug. I am sure those that you were kind enough to send my way were very confused! I will properly join in very soon.
But now, I am well (or mostly so) and I am in New York. Thanks to the wonderful Premium Parent Program over at Doctor Smith’s, I am her in the Big Apple. So if I am still away from the neighborhood, it’s because I am away from my neighborhood. I am going to try to visit but if I don’t get to you this week, watch out! I will be doing some seriously overdue courting next week!
So enjoy your week in whatever city you may be.
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Friday Fragments #3 — I May Not Be Amusing But I Am In For The Ride
Hi! I have not participated in Friday Fragments for a while (and by a while, I mean forever) so I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to catch up with the lovely Mrs. 4444 over at Half Past Kissin’ Time.
So I had a few rough weeks. Things happened and I let them “happen” to me. I chose to allow the worries of my world beat me down. But as I spoke about here, I snapped out of it. Or at least I snapped into working on it. Thanks to everyone who offered their support.
So in honor of that I thought that I would write of some celebrations from the last few weeks.
My daughter, Little Diva, is four years old. It is unbelievable to me even as I write this. Too soon I will not be able to refer to her as the “little” diva anymore (and based upon her attitude as of late, she will have earned the title “big” diva). She had a wonderful “Princesses and Pirates” party with her friends and she went as Rapunzel.
We played “Old School” games including hopscotch and ”Pin the Tail on the Donkey”. Though in 2011, nothing is simple — everything is themed, so we had a stick the Treasure Chest on the Map’s X.
Donkey. Pirate’s Booty. Whatever. The kids had fun. And my girl was happy.
So, my daughter gained and my son lost. Lost his training wheels. Yep! My Sonny-Bunny rides a two-wheeler now. And he taught himself!
Flashback to Christmas 2010– Santa might have gotten a little ambitious when he brought my son his bike. He might have gotten a very tall bike for Sonny-Bunny. Might have done, just saying…Therefore, my son might be having difficulty learning said tall bike. Well, when we were visiting my parents, my son found his old Elmo bike and learned to ride it without training wheels.
And there was one more loss to celebrate…
The Tooth Fairy visited our home last night and took away a long anticipated wiggly tooth. It was a loss but it was a big win.
Finally, I wanted to take a moment to update everyone on my trouble with my husband’s smoking in my post “Up in Smoke”. I wish I could say that I found the magic words to save him from this dangerous habit or that I had found some new Zen that made me the perfectly balanced, supportive wife that I need to save me. I can’t say that. I can say, however, that I was heartened by many of the comments and the hope that quitting is possible and that he can return to health. I also heard all of you who told me that a step back would be wise as nagging and anger were only aggravating the situation. I am doing my best!
So I am trying to get back on the Sunny Side of the Street. I will be returning to the neighborhood — please forgive my absence. And in honor of my return, I thought that I would return to one of my favorite things: sharing lyrics from favorite songs.
Grab your coat and get your hat
Leave your worry on the doorstep
Just direct your feet
To the sunny side of the street
Can’t you hear a pitter-pat
And that happy tune is your step
Life can be so sweet
On the sunny side of the street
I used to walk in the shade
With those blues on parade
But now I’m not afraid
This rover crossed over
If I’d never have a cent
I’d be rich as Rockefeller
Going to set my feet
On the sunny side of the street
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Posted in Blogging, Childhood, Friday Fragments, Gratitude
Tagged Celebrations, Childhood, My Life, Sonny-Bunny, The Diva
10 Comments
It’s Not You, It’s Me
Dear Spammers,
Everyday you fill my inbox with so much love. My phone routinely dings with new messages expressing all the ways you want to make my life better. And I am continually amazed by how you consider needs that I hadn’t considered. I would never have thought of the ways that Viagra could improve my life. I wasn’t aware that as a woman that I could take it all.
But I really love how you wish to share all your goodies with my readers. Whether it is auto insurance, haircuts, or the latest Louis Vuitton handbag (which I am sure is real because we have established a relationship built on faith and trust), you continue to pursue my heart through offers to those I love.
But so many of those love notes are never seen. My pesky software embargoes hundreds of your entreaties. But not to be deterred, you have found ways to express your undying passion.
And oh, how they warm my heart. You think that I am one of the most influential blogs you have read. How touched I was to see that a colleague had sent you a link and you eagerly awaited my next post. The fact that you felt that way about a month old post caused my knees to buckle. I just hope that you return to see what I have had to say since. Oh, wait. You did! You came again and left almost the same exact message. Love, love, love!
But the best moment of all was when you read the post about the loss of my brother and you suggested that I party all night. How did you know that in my dark days, I would really want to boogie?
Knowing that you do all this with love, please understand how hard it was to hit unapprove and move them into the Spam folder. Hand-wringing was involved. But in the end, it was just too much. There are so many of you. How I could I play comment-footsie with one and not allow you all to play? I felt like I was being unfaithful. And as much as I would love to be the star of the latest TLC polygamous show, “Sister Spammers”, I just don’t think we can move forward.
So please, please, please, move on. I know there is a blogger out there who will appreciate you. She will approve all your comments and make a place for you in her inbox. If you continue to spend your time and focus on me, you will never find that blogger, your blogger.
So don’t take it personally. Really, I know that it’s a cliche but you have to understand, it’s not you, it’s me.
All my best,
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