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Category Archives: Mommyhood
S@*t Little Girls Say
There is a series put on by two guys called “S@*t Girls Say” which is hilarious as are the many spin-offs that I have seen (including that of my friend, Unknown Mami). But I don’t think anything is crazy as the things my kids say. I’ve shared before but I’ll have trouble topping this edition.
My soon-to- be five year old daughter has become boy crazy. She has discovered Justin Bieber which definitely falls under the WTF category! But it gets worse, as you will see…
Bieber Fever — My Little Diva was introduced to Justin in the intro to the film “Arthur’s Christmas”. She leaned over and said he was handsome. I should have known that the rabbit hole had begun but I didn’t. I just thought it was cute. She then found “Never Say Never” on Netflix. (Lord, help me!) The other night she ran into the living room. She had been wound up and to help her calm down before lights out, we had let her watch Netflix in bed. Usually that involves a Veggie Tale but it seems that she traveled over to Bieber-land. This conversation followed:
Little Diva: Mommy. I was trying to go to sleep but every time a song came on, I just wanted to get up and dance. I guess I can’t go to sleep to Bieber.
The next morning, she told me that she had a dream wherein she had a half Princess and half Bieber room. (Okay, I know you are all throwing up a little in your mouths — I do apologize!). She then went on to say that she really wanted a mostly Justin Bieber room. (I’m telling you now that is NOT happening!)
Lest you think that Bieber fever is the worst with which this momma has to deal, she has noticed real boys, as well. All I can say, is “Pray for me, people. Pray. For. Me. ”
Two days after Christmas, my daughter rushed into our room. (Yes, she does a lot of that. Everything is very dramatic, hence the name Little Diva.) And as you read this, know that I am thinking, “where is my camera when I need it?”
Little Diva: Mommy, I have found true love.
Me: (stifling giggles) You have?
LD: No, seriously. “T” and I have true love. We’re going to get married.
Me: (in pain trying not to burst out with laughter) You are? Well, at least “T” is a nice boy.
LD: Yes, he loves my singing. He says I have a beautiful voice.
My only consolation in the above conversation is that at least she picked him because he thought she was talented, not because he thought she was pretty. Pretty cold consolation but consolation, none-the-less.
She hadn’t brought boys in a few weeks and I was hoping that she had moved on. Two nights, however, she started a conversation this way:
Little Diva: “B” thinks he is going to marry me.
Me: He does?
LD: Yes, every day. But I’m not going to marry him. He’s my boyfriend but I’m not his girlfriend.
(Inappropriate laughter from husband and me)
Me: Then, whose girlfriend are you?
LD: Nobody’s.
Me: (Sigh of relief) Good. (Remembering previous conversation) But what about “T”?
LD: Oh yeah, he’s my boyfriend.
Me: Oh…
LD: Can we stop talking about this boyfriend/girlfriend thing?
Me: Yes, yes, we can.
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Dreams of a Southern Girl
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”
– Martin Luther King
We often think of Dr. King as a hero to African-Americans but I think he is a hero for all Americans. Actually, for all humans. His dream was not only for himself but for all people. He chose to elevate himself by bringing all up with him rather than pushing others down.
Dr. King’s words inspired people from all sides. His actions opened hearts and minds. His life showed that anyone from any circumstance can move mountains.
I was reminded of this last evening when the glorious Octavia Spencer from “The Help” (which I wrote about here) accepted her Golden Globe with these words, “With regard to domestics in this country, Dr. Martin Luther King said it best. ‘All labor that uplifts dignity in this country is worthwhile’.”
I know that we have not fully reached the promised land but we have traveled very far. There are signs big and small that his legacy have changed this country. Yes, we have an African-American president but there are signs closer to home and more meaningful to me. My daughter’s favorite Disney princess is Tiana from “The Princess and the Frog”. While she is a princess freak in general, the one she carries around most and asks for consistently is the one that looks least like her. And I love that. Children are not born with hate and prejudice; she is proof of that.
Whites may have thought themselves free before but they were not. No society is truly free when anyone is oppressed. And no heart is free when burdened by hate. So thank you, Dr. King. You made this white Southern girl’s life better. You made my country better. You made my world better. Somehow thank you doesn’t seem enough.
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If I Only Had a Brain…
Dear Wizard (or Mr. Oz, if you prefer),
I used to have a brain, I really did. And as with most precious things, I never really appreciated it. But just as Dorothy longed for the home that she once looked to escape, I miss it. I want it back.
Where did I leave it, you ask? I’m not really sure. This morning, I started making lunches so it might be on the kitchen counter. I needed a thermos and a snack container so I started emptying the dishwasher. So possibly it’s sitting in the top rack that is still standing open from when I pulled the lunch items.
My son then called from the bathroom as he needed a towel. It could be hiding in the back of the linen closet. Or under the stacks of towels half-folded on the dryer. The towels I tried to fold when I went to to get that towel for my son.
Or it could be next to the fire extinguisher that I was supposed to put out for inspection and now will be charged $25. It might be in the bag of library books I was collecting for return.
Oh! It could be in the refrigerator… I remember standing there shivering as I tried to recollect why I opened the door in the first place. It might have had something to do with lunches. No, that can’t be right because my son wanted to buy lunch today. That reminds me, I need to get cash to send with him to refill his lunch card. They won’t take checks.
Checks? Why does that ring a bell? Do I need to go to the bank? Or the grocery store where the bank is? Yes, that could be it. Our pantry has begun to resemble the Hubbard household.
Okay. Wait. What was I saying? I had a point. Something was missing. What was it again? Oh yes, my brain. I was saying that my brain has gone missing so could you “scare” one up for me? I promise I’ll be much more careful with this one.
Now if I could just find my keys…
Most sincerely,
Star Traci
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Beautiful, Beautiful Boy
On this day, eight years ago, the world changed. My precious Sonny-Bunny was born. We decorated his nursery with the John Lennon collection of animals. His mobile played this beautiful song so today I will share it on his behalf. Happy birthday, little man, you have made me a better woman.
Close your eyes,
Have no fear,
The monsters gone,
He’s on the run and your daddy’s here,
Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,
Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way,
It’s getting better and better,
Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,
Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait,
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we’ll both,
Just have to be patient,
Yes it’s a long way to go,
But in the meantime,
Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans,
Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,
Darling,
Darling,
Darling Sean.
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Posted in Beautiful, Childhood, Mommyhood
Tagged Beautiful, Celebrations, Childhood, Mommyhood, Sonny-Bunny
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A Gift Returned
I gave my daughter into the hands of doctors yesterday and they gave her back! Thank you for all your prayers. Her routine procedure was indeed routine but my little Diva remains completely unroutine!
Thank You by Led Zeppelin
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
when mountains crumble to the sea, there would still be you and me.
Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more.
Little drops of rain whisper of the pain, tears of loves lost in the days gone by.
Our love is strong, with you there is no wrong,
together we shall go until we die. My, my, my.
Inspiration’s what you are to me, inspiration, look… see.
And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles,
Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one.
Happiness, no more be sad, happiness….I’m glad.
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.
If the mountains should crumble to the sea, there would still be you and me.
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Say a Little Prayer…
My precious little diva has to go under anesthesia today for a minor procedure. She is an otherwise healthy strong little lady and this is a “routine”procedure. My daughter, however, is not routine to me and I admit to being a nervous mom. I know that I have many friends out there in the web-o-sphere and if may impose on you to say a little prayer for her, I would be most appreciative.
I will return with Part 2 of my 9/11 story soon, but for today…
The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little prayer for you
While combing my hair, now,
And wondering what dress to wear, now,
I say a little prayer for you
Forever, forever, you’ll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, forever, we never will part
Oh, how I’ll love you
Together, together, that’s how it must be
To live without you
Would only be heartbreak for me.
I run for the bus, dear,
While riding I think of us, dear,
I say a little prayer for you.
At work I just take time
And all through my coffee break-time,
I say a little prayer for you.
Forever, forever, you’ll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, forever we never will part
Oh, how I’ll love you
Together, together, that’s how it must be
To live without you
Would only be heartbreak for me.
My darling believe me,
For me there is no one
But you.
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Living My Best Life
Oprah always liked to talk about living your best life. She would bring on a collection of “experts” to tell us how to do it. And I soaked it up like a sponge. (I actually mourned her leaving.)
And like all good Oprah-ites, I had a vision of what that Best Life would be. It involved living at a beach, with no debt and no clutter, and I’d have a successful acting and writing career. Sounds like a best life, doesn’t it? I still like the sound of that life, don’t get me wrong. It is a dream life.
But, it is not my current life. My stay-at-home, living paycheck to paycheck life. My crazy, frazzled, often-cluttered life. And while I have always respected full-time moms, I have not respected myself as a full-time mom. It was the consolation prize — basically, it was what I did while I waited for the real life to start, the “best” life.
Well, as Cee Lo sings, “Forget that”. Being a Mom matters. In general and specifically to my kids. And I am starting to respect that. I’ve always loved being my kids’ mom but I haven’t appreciated it.
For now, this is my best life.
I dragged myself through the routine of being a mom. Whether it was cooking or cleaning, I did it. But I did it with a begrudging resignation. I am going to try to do better. Or, if you will… I am going to do my “best”.
I am going to do my best to make a home. A home of which I am proud. To make food that I enjoy. And to realize that no matter how I got here, this is the life, not simply a weigh station along the path of my real life.
I haven’t given up on the dream life, I’m just going to live my best life everyday along the way.
So, are you living your best life? What does it look like for you?
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Recharging My Batteries
I’ve been writing about feeling like I am running circles in my life. So I am stepping off the track for a few days. My best friend and I are taking a “Mommy” trip. Three days, two nights, no kids. And no computer. So I wish you all a lovely week and I’ll “see” you in a few days.
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Friday Fragments #5 — Summer with the Kids
Okay, it is summer and it is hot, Hot, HOT! Austin has had 31 days in a row of at least 100 degrees. We have had no measurable rain. And with the kids home, it is essential to keep my cool.
Sometimes that is not so easy. These kids can go from the most loving brother and sister duo you have ever seen to the Hatfields and McCoys in a millisecond. Keeping busy helps. These kids have a social calendar that a Hilton would envy. In a two week period, we have four birthday parties, three play dates, a swim party, and a sleepover! It keeps them happy but Mama is tired. Very tired. Oh, and we just added a day trip to an ice cream factory. That’s over an hour away! I am glad that my kids have friends. Really I am. But it can be exhausting!
But it can also be fun. We have been to the beach, the aquarium, and to see movies. We have read books and played Monopoly. And then they say things that just crack me up. Like…
When I asked my daughter why she and her brother hadn’t cleaned up her room, she looked at me and in complete sincerity, said “I didn’t know where to start. You’re the Mommy. You’re supposed to know. We’re just kids.” (BTW, room is still not clean — they’re just kids, you know.)
My son wanted a cup of milk at bedtime. I told him that it was too late and he had already brushed his teeth. He then puts his hands together (prayer-style), leans his cheek on them, and gives me his best toothless grin. When this seems to have no effect, he looks at me and says, “this isn’t working for you, is it?” Stifling laughter, I shake my head. He then smiles bigger and says, “but this is my cute face”. Yes, yes it is.
So these are a few of the fragments of my life. If you have fragments that you would like to share, check out Mrs. 4444 at Half Past Kissing Time.
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Posted in Childhood, Friday Fragments, Mommyhood
Tagged Childhood, Friday Fragments, Mommyhood
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The Sound of Silence
I’m sitting here in half dark enjoying something that I have not had much of lately. Silence. Time to think. Time to write. This has been my first opportunity to tap-tap away and how I have missed it.
I’ve been working these last two weeks and its an adjustment. But I love, Love, LOVE the work. And I am starting to have new opportunities spring from it. But I have had less time with my children and they have let me know that they don’t dig it. In the past, whenever there has been any discomfort for my husband and children in this way, I’ve pulled out. You know how it is. Mommy falls on metaphorical sword.
Well, somewhat to my dismay, I am resisting that urge. When you’re turning forty, you lose a little bit of self-delusion. The delusion that tells you that there is always enough time. You’re still young. Don’t worry about it.
I know that my kids are only young once. I know that no one says on their death bed I wish I had worked more. But I also know that I came into this world with a talent and a dream that has been set to the side a long time.
I have been praying for opportunities to let my star shine. Is it possible to let mine shine without casting shadows on those I love most? I think so. I hope so. Part of me says that I can’t do it because everything will fall apart. And part of me says that I have been the glue for too long and it is time for them to figure things without Mom for a change.
This particular job will end soon and I could simply let things go back to “normal”. But even as I type this, something is screaming inside of me, “NO!” I am forty (in 14 days) and time isn’t slipping into the future, it’s slipping into the past! I am terrified that I’ll wake up and ten more years will have passed in an instant. My kids will be moving on and I will be writing (again) about finding myself in my own life. I can’t let that happen. But what can I do?
What do you think? How do you strike the balance?
14 Days and Counting…
P.S. There has been one positive side effect to this. I have nearly been broken of my TV habit. I just don’t have the time!!!!
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