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Tag Archives: Reality TV
Don’t Leave Me This Way
I have a confession. I watch Oprah religiously. I have watched it almost all of its 25 years. Now in the age of DVRs, it is not appointment TV anymore, but I see it all. So what am I going to do now?
Those of you who follow the Daytime Queen know that she has been closing down her show with a series of all-time favorites, follow-ups, etc. And boy, have I gone down Memory Lane. We have revisited Mattie, the beautiful boy that introduced us to Heart Songs. I could have put Noah back in business with the tears.
In fact, there were a lot of crying moments. The woman who barely survived the fiery car crash. The mother who finally moved on after her daughter was murdered. The little girl who grew up watching videos her mother made once she knew she was dying. Lots of tears. Lots of inspiration.
I eat this stuff up like chocolate chip cookies precisely two minutes out of the oven with a side of milk. It is something of a drug. It provides a bit of catharsis as I temporarily live through their stories.
Oprah is not a great celebrity interviewer. There I said it. I know that it is against the law in most if the world to suggest that she is not the greatest talk show host ever but that is not her forte. Leave that to Barbara Walters. What she does do right is the heartstrings story. Give her a Don Quixote that caught his windmill and she will change your life. Give her a project to stand behind and she will change the world. Give her a celebrity and prepare to go to sleep or go vomit. Or both — hopefully vomiting before sleeping. Just sayin’.
And Ms. Oprah is the queen of the mixed message. One day she tells me that I should be authentic and not focus on things and the next day, she shares her Favorite Things. She’ll share a story spotlighting how a woman has survived some terrible disfigurement and how her inner beauty has triumphed. A week later, she’ll do a make-over. She’ll tell us mothers that we should let go and stop trying to do it all and then she will have Martha Stewart teaching the proper way to fold a fitted sheet. Really? Really, is there a proper way to fold a fitted sheet? Evidently, the answer is yes.
You want a clue into my warped psyche? See above.
And yet, I will miss my life lessons, folding instructions, and tips on wearing the correct bra. 4:00 pm will never be the same.
Three shows more and I am on my own. It seemed appropriate to turn to Dusty Springfield because I just don’t know what I’ll do with myself.
I just don’t know what to do with myself
Don’t know just what to do with myself
I’m so used to doing everything with you
Planning everything for two
And now that we’re through
I just don’t know what to do with my time
I’m so lonesome for you, it’s a crime
Going to a movie only makes me sad
Parties make me feel as bad
When I’m not with you, I just don’t know what to do
Like a summer rose needs the sun and rain
I need your sweet love to beat all the pain
I just don’t know what to do with myself
I just don’t know what to do with myself
Baby, if your new love ever turns you down
Come back, I will be around
Just waiting for you, I don’t know what else to do
So, will you miss Ms. O? What will you do with yourself?
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I am soooo 2008…
Or maybe even 2007.
I couldn’t sleep last night. And despite the fact that I pay WAY too much for cable (I am looking at you — AT&T U-Verse), there was seemingly nothing on at 3:30 am. Now what is the point of cable if it leaves an insomniac alone with her thoughts?
Despite what Nate and Oprah say, I need a TV when I can’t sleep. And last night, I needed something other than Paid Programming. I don’t want to know about how the latest Stem Cell Research has now created a better skin cream. Or how Liposene can replace liposuction. Or how the latest celebrity’s use of a mineral powder has changed her life.
So as I clicked through the myriad of sponsored programming, I clicked onto something called The Hills. Now many of you may already be aware of this pseudo-reality show starring Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag. And no, I haven’t been completely under a rock. I had heard of Lauren Conrad and her line of clothing with Kohls, and unfortunately, I had heard of some creature called “Speidi”. But I am not much of a reality TV girl (and I am a solid decade out of the target demographic) so I managed to miss this entire show.
Well, in my delirium, I got sucked into this show during the four-episode arc that was playing during the wee hours. It was from the first season. And I was struck by two things (as much as you can be struck by anything stretched out on a couch watching four year old television).
First off, I am old. I looked at these kids and found them ridiculously shallow. There was so little drive. So little work ethic. I know they are young but I was still shocked. I hate to use the phrase, “when I was their age”, but when I was their age, I knew what I wanted and I was willing to work for it. Some of these kids seem so lost.
I couldn’t help watching the show from the perspective of a parent. How did these kids end up like this? How did their parents feel watching this show? Because I would be sad if my kids had this view of life and love.
But I was most shocked by the appearance of Heidi. Fan of reality TV or no (Rachel Zoe does not count!), it was impossible to escape the plastic surgery fiasco of last year. And as I am watching the show, I am thinking how pretty this girl was. Why did she feel compelled to have any surgery, much less an Extreme Makeover style overhaul?
I know these are the ramblings of someone who has gotten very little sleep, but I still find it sad. And as I am several years behind this curve, you may wonder why I bothered writing. But I believe that while art imitates life, life sometimes imitates art (or what MTV passes off as art) and I don’t want my kids thinking this is reality. Or fantasy. Or anything worth celebrating.
Okay, okay, okay. I never saw a soap box I didn’t like. Here’s the sad part. I didn’t turn it off. I just watched mindlessly. And truthfully, if I can’t sleep next Saturday night, you might find me watching the next four episode arc. Because you know I am so 2008.
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