How to Create a Road Rage Incident Without Trying

The other day I almost ended up on the news. "Film at Eleven!", except this is Texas so "Film at Ten!" But "film at ten" really doesn't sound as cool so we'll stick with eleven.In our change from duplex-living Austinites to roaming nomads, I had to trade in my cute red PT Cruiser  for the big white truck that can pull our trailer. I have avoided driving that big truck as it terrifies intimidates me. Therefore, my parents had been kind enough to loan me their very appropriately sized sedan. As size-appropriate it might be, I was still slightly unfamiliar with it and thus our tale begins.I keep honking the horn. I don't know how but I am brushing across the horn and honking without even trying. Now I'm pretty sure that this is consistent nationwide, but I can assure you, Texans don't like to be honked at. Trust me when I tell you, "don't try to pull over and roll down your window and apologize!"Just don't.See I tried and it didn't go very well.This first time I tried was in the school pickup line. As I was pulling around a very nice older woman, I accidentally bumped the horn. I pulled alongside her and rolled down my window. Now her initial response should have taught me that this action might not be perceived well. I am evidently not that bright, however, and as I was able to offer my apologies, I saw this as a win.The next day, I am parallel parked. I go to pull out just when a man pulled out from a parking lot across the street. We come close but didn't collide. No problem, right? Except, I hit that horn again. That was not good. And then I had to pull past him which resulted in him miming to me "You're honking at me?!?"I should have just driven off but I felt bad. I thought I should apologize. And stupidly, I stop and put the car in reverse . I'm planning to say "I'm sorry". Really smart, I know. Finally, as I am rolling down my window, I realize that the guy is getting out of his car and thinks I am fighting with him. At that point, the left brain woke up and I put the car back in drive and left as quickly as I could in a 30 mph zone.I watched my mirrors for about ten minutes afterwards. And that, my friends, is how to create a road rage incident without trying!